A Fool For Love

Fuck you. Fuck you, and all we ever stood for. How could I have fallen so easily for the whole "I still love you" and "i still care about you" bullshit? It was so. fucking. easy. I still love you, even though apparently it's evident I shouldn't. I gave you everything, everything I had to give, and you gave me nothing back. Just kept taking, and then making me feel like the asshole if we ever disagreed. You were my fucking world. I'd do anything for you. I loved everything about you. Everything. The way you looked at me, the way you made me feel like I was on top of the world, the way you made me feel like I was the only one who mattered. The only one for you. You made me feel...something I'd never felt before. For the first time in three years, my heart felt...whole. I loved you so much that it hurt. Yes, as cliche as that sounds, physically hurt. It scared the shit out of me. Every time I looked at you, I fell in love with you all over again. Each and everyday, I fell harder. And I never knew if you were going to be there to see me fall. But I took a chance, an honest chance, and for awhile I believed you. I believed you loved me, was in love with me, and I made you happy. For the first time ever, I wasn't going to run from my feelings. You made me feel so sexy, so wanted, so amazing...so alive. I never worried with you. I was...safe. I once told you that being in love with you was one of the best feelings in the world. I meant those words completely. Now, I wish I could take them back and shove them down my own throat. I shouldn't have been such an idiot. I shouldn't have believed you so easily. I should never have fallen in love with you. They once asked me if I still loved you. I greeted with silence, though I know my eyes revealed the truth. I do. Absolutely, completely, entirely. And that makes me ten times more the fool.